Proverbs, Wisdom, and Sex

Defense – Don’t Play with Fire

And now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless, lest strangers take their fill of your strength, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner, and at the end of your life you groan, when your flesh and body are consumed, and you say, ‘How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation.’” (Proverbs 5:7–14 ESV)

“Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house.”

I think we understand what this means. Mark Twain once said, “There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.”[1] It is the application of the Lord’s prayer, “lead me not into temptation.” If I pray that and then knowingly or foolishly put myself as near to temptation as possible, I shouldn’t be surprised with what happens.

Others have said, sexual desire is like fire in the house. In the fireplace it keeps the house warm. Outside the fireplace it burns it down. God has put the fire of sexual desire within us. We must have a holy respect and fear of that fire being inflamed outside of God’s will.

Stay away from honey lips and don’t go near the door of her house. Why? Who says I can’t go near the door? Who says I can’t meet a woman for lunch? Who says I can’t have strong and independent friendships with the opposite sex? There you Christians go again.

Underlying these warnings is the greater desire for maximum sexual fulfillment. Honey lips is not that. She represents the distortion and destruction of it.

See your sexuality as a precious and delicate gift. A piece of fine china God gave you. So delicate and so precious that you don’t even want to risk it being broken. Are there any present habits of life or relationships with the opposite sex that pose a threat to you experiencing the fulness of God’s desire for your sexuality?

“But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.” (Romans 13:14)

A strong defense begins with the wisdom to see how one thing can lead to another and to not put ourselves in that possibly compromising position. Don’t sit on Honey Lips’ front porch. Don’t be active friends with her on Facebook. Don’t “happen” to be in the company lunchroom with her if you can avoid it. As you feel temptation or thoughts that if you acted on them would be sin, run away. Defense always has its running shoes on.

[1] Mark Twain, Following the Equator (1897), Chap. 36

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