Sex: It’s About More Than You Think

What Sex is About

Every generation thinks they discovered sex or somehow improved it. Ironically, it is the oldest thing about us. Despite all these centuries, if you were to ask the average person on the street, what is sex about? I doubt they would have much more than a, “Dude, come on. It’s sex. Soooo, you know. Wild thing. Come on, bro.” “Sir, you haven’t really answered the question.” We are not the most sex-crazed society ever, but we’re close. In spite of the billions of sexual encounters happening every week, most are done ignorant of what it’s actually about. Do you know?


But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:2–5 ESV)

This alone could be a whole message and I would explain these “rights” in the context of love, not demand. But see that God’s design for sex is hetero-sex and only-within-marriage sex. Paul emphasizes that sexual intimacy within marriage helps fight against sex outside of marriage. One critical reason married couples should take their sexual relationship very seriously is because it protects the fidelity of their marriage.

Some years ago, I did a message like this and I received an anonymous letter from a man who talked about his sexless marriage. It was sad. It is also incredibly dangerous. Wives and husbands, is it wise to send your spouse into the sexualized world we live in every day without them being sexually satisfied? If your husband is going to a celibacy conference, OK. But most places in the world don’t celebrate marital fidelity. They celebrate infidelity. Christian couples, we have to love God enough to want to protect his glory in your marriage, and one way is to be very active sexually in marriage.

This is also a protection for single people. How? It motivates single people to get married. When sex is reserved for marriage, it’s amazing how motivated single people are to get married. Pastor John MacArthur tells the story of when the Gulf War started in the 90s there was a lot of speculation that this might lead to prophecy fulfilled about the Middle East. The Master’s College, where MacArthur is president, never had more marriages than when the students thought Jesus might be coming back.

If I could talk straight, dating and engaged couples who don’t seem to be in a hurry to get married, often don’t because they are already sleeping together. Sex in marriage is a protection, especially for women who want to get married. Ideally, you don’t want to marry a man who wants sex outside marriage, but one good way to end up married is to make him wait. If he won’t wait, dump him. If he will wait he will also keep moving up the wedding date. I was 44 when I got married. By then I was ready to get married pronto.

Christian marriages should have the best sex lives because we take sex and marriage more seriously. We do so for God’s sake and for the sake of our spouse. I wish we could earn that reputation—Christian sex is the best sex. Let’s all work on that, perhaps this afternoon.

Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

© 2018 by Steve DeWitt. You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that: (1) you credit the author, (2) any modifications are clearly marked, (3) you do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction, (4) you include Bethel’s website address ( on the copied resource.

To hear the message of this excerpt in its entirety, click here

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