A Husband By Design

Because God saved her, loves her, and eternally treasures her

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7 ESV)

Peter says, “Husbands, wake up!” Do you realize who you are married to? That Christian woman is loved by the Almighty. Jesus loved her to the cross and willingly died in her place to secure her salvation. God has promised her an exalted and eternal status in eternity as a co-heir with Christ of the inheritance promised to God’s children. Daughter of God. Friend of Jesus. Fellow recipient of grace. A woman who, if you could see the glory that will be hers in eternity, you would possibly be tempted to worship her.

There’s a husband reading this saying…not my wife. That says more about you than it does her. You see her weakness, her sin, her failures and it makes you want to compare her to other women or wonder why you married her. God sees her sin even more clearly than you do. Yet, he loves her. God’s love for her says something about how you should treat her.

I’m a long way from my daughter going on a date with any young man. I’ve already been thinking about it mostly in terms of electronic surveillance and what caliber ammo to buy. That boy is going to fear for his life. She will not go out the door with any boy that I don’t sense fears for his life. Besides fear, what does he need to know and respect? How much I love her. I expect him to treat her according to my love for her, not his. Not his lust or hormones or foolishness. Not his stupidity. My love and care for her will be the measure of how he treats her. He needs to see that she is my daughter first, his friend or girlfriend second. Then we can get along without bloodshed.

Isn’t that what God is saying to the Christian husband? You are married to a co-heir of the grace of life. She’s really, really special. Notice it is the “grace of life.” Grace. She’s a sinner. She needs grace. She didn’t earn this status as a Christian. It was given to her just like it was given to us. She has it by faith in Jesus. She has it because of God’s electing and adopting love. She is really, really special and will be forever because of God’s love and grace to her.

Treat her accordingly. Don’t exploit her. Don’t ignore her. Don’t fail to meet her needs as much as humanly possible. Don’t live in your man-cave. Dwell with her. Seek to understand her. Honor her even when she doesn’t deserve it. Do it with the same grace you received from God that allows you to be a co-heir of the grace of life with her.

Pursue her. Lead. Love. Fulfill your call as a servant leader by leading in love and sacrifice. Guess what happens when husbands love and lead their wives in this way? That feminine and delicate beauty flowers under the protection of your masculine servant leadership. Your death to self allows a resurrection of a new you, a Christ-like you, a you who has at your side a friend, lover, and companion.

©2015 Steve DeWitt. You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that: (1) you credit the author, (2) any modifications are clearly marked, (3) you do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction, (4) you include Bethel’s website address (www.bethelweb.org) on the copied resource.

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